


keeps you guessing (like any real love)

by AlexSeanchai, GalahadWilder



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: ADHD Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya is trying to be a good friend we promise, Autistic Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Autistic Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting, Lila Rossi Bashing, Minor Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Minor Max Kanté/Lê Chiến Kim, Nonconsensual Touching, Post-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-01 06:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21421900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSeanchai/pseuds/AlexSeanchai, https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalahadWilder/pseuds/GalahadWilder
Summary: Marinette doesn't talk about being in love in front of Adrien; Adrien doesn't talk about anyone he's interested in at all. And neither jokes much with the other: he's too worried she'll reject his friendship and she's too worried he'll reject her love. They certainly don't havein-jokes. And if they were dating, Alya would have heard from Marinette directly that she was about to ask.…Why is Alya finding out any of this has changed through Mme. Bustier's class's group chat?
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 355
Kudos: 1914





	1. Class Group Chat, One Day Post-Reveal

**Marineedles:**  
you ever fall in love with someone and don’t realize it because you have The Big Dumb

**UnderAgreste:**  
that message just broke into my room and shot me in the face

**JustStabCésaire:**  
what the hell happened between you two last night

**UnderAgreste:**  
Wait if I’m an idiot

**UnderAgreste:**  
and you’re an idiot

**Marineedles:**  
THEN WHO HAS THE BRAIN CELL

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
I have no idea what’s going on but mood


	2. Lila's Birthday Invitations

**Rossignolade:**  
My birthday party will be Saturday afternoon at Place des Vosges!

**Rossignolade:**  
Adrien, Ladybug promised she'd be there… 😃

**UnderAgreste:**  
you invited Ladybug???

**UnderAgreste:**  
and she really said she'd come? WOW

**UnderAgreste:**  
hey Marinara wanna come with?

**Marineedles:**  
call me marinara _one_ more time

**UnderAgreste:**  
sure thing Mariposa

**Marineedles:**  
if I did not have five commissions to finish I would give you cardiac agreste for that

**UnderAgreste:**  
you sound a little hot under the collar!

**Marineedles:**  
I'LL COLLAR YOU

**Marineedles:**  
alley cat vs house cat round eight FIGHT

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
get a room you two

**Marineedles:**  
_busy_

**UnderAgreste:**  
seriously though Marinette

**UnderAgreste:**  
Lila's party y/n

**Marineedles:**  
N N _N N_ **N**

**Marineedles:**  
UNINVITED

**Rossignolade:**  
We'll miss you! I'm sure Ladybug will be disappointed.

**UnderAgreste:**  
Lila you're _sure_ Ladybug said she'd come?

**JustStabCésaire:**  
why would she lie about that adrien

**Rossignolade:**  
I'm positive!

**Marineedles:**  
said the hydrogen ion to the neutron

**UnderAgreste:**  
😹😹😹

**UnderAgreste:**  
thanks Lila just checking


	3. After Lila's Party

**Rossignolade:**  
There was an akuma across town. Of course that was more important.

**Marineedles:**   
😯

**JustStabCésaire:**  
…as ways to get out of commitments go, marinette, "i'm ladybug" beats all yours

**UnderAgreste:**  
right

**JustStabCésaire:**  
seriously you're dating him now, still being jealous of her is not a good look

**UnderAgreste:**  
…

**Marineedles:**   
😐

**UnderAgreste:**  
hey M that little cafe by Pont des Arts with the really good tartlets? race you

**Marineedles:**   
⛈️💗


	4. Alya's Ladynoir Scoop!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
HAAAAAA GOTTEM

**JustStabCésaire:**  
i have video of ladynoir kisses!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
and ladybug did not flip out when she noticed!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
chat noir kinda just smiled at me and went back to looking lovesick over her

**JustStabCésaire:**  
they must have decided it's okay to take it public!

**Rossignolade:**  
Alya don't be silly, of course they're not dating. I'd know! I'd tell you!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
…

**C'estLavillant:**  
lila have you uh

**C'estLavillant:**  
please don't take this wrong

**C'estLavillant:**  
have you met LB&CN?

**C'estLavillant:**  
ever?

**CouffaineItUp:**  
also have you met romance goals? like, ever?

**Rossignolade:**  
You…think Ladybug and Chat Noir are romance goals?

**JustStabCésaire:**  
you don't?

**C'estLavillant:**  
you don't?

**CouffaineItUp:**  
you don't?

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
you don't?

**UnderAgreste:**  
_@Marineedles_ dibs on being Ladybug

**Marineedles:**  
*blink blink*

**Marineedles:**  
🖤😻

**Marineedles:**  
😈

**UnderAgreste:**  
🐞😘

**JustStabCésaire:**  
i have regrets

**Marineedles:**  
liar

**UnderAgreste:**  
hey leave Alya alone

**UnderAgreste:**  
we could have been floating along in romantic Ladynoir-style bliss for _aaages_ if we'd listened to Alya

**Marineedles:**  
🍌🍌

**UnderAgreste:**  
so you agree it's appeeling

**Marineedles:**  
🍌🥧😸

**CouffaineItUp:**  
dirty pun in 5

**CouffaineItUp:**  
4

**UnderAgreste:**  
I am insulted Juleka I am a perfect gentleman

**Marineedles:**  
that countdown's wrong anyway

**JustStabCésaire:**  
I HAVE REGRETS

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
_get a room you two_

**UnderAgreste:**  
sorry

**Marineedles:**  
sorry!

**UnderAgreste:**  
—Alya when you got that video did you ask about anything or did you just go 'oh she's not upset like she was with the Oblivio kiss photo'

**JustStabCésaire:**  
OH THAT'S A GOOD POINT

**Rossignolade:**  
I told you, Alya, they aren't dating!

**Marineedles:**  
oh Alya before I forget again:

**Marineedles:**  
happy birthday!

**UnderAgreste:**  
many happy returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [original post chain](https://alexseanchai.tumblr.com/post/189033952140/juststabcesaire-haaaaaa-gottem-juststabcesaire-i) to date


	5. …and the Terrible Horrible Photoshoot

**UnderAgreste:**  
*faceplants into chat* kill me now

**Marineedles:**  
how worried am I?

**UnderAgreste:**  
drama llama

**Marineedles:**  
attack-a alpaca at your service

**UnderAgreste:**  
🤣😻

**Marineedles:**  
what's wrong?

**UnderAgreste:**  
ever had a day where all you can do is wonder what you did to offend the luck gods?

**Marineedles:**  
…

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
let me introduce you to Chris's favorite English-language book (as of before he decided he's all grown up now)

**Marineedles:**  
do I need to grab some cheesecake and come rescue you

**UnderAgreste:**  
not those luck gods, the other luck gods

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  


**UnderAgreste:**  
(yes please)

**UnderAgreste:**  
see Nino gets me

**C'estLavillant:**  
what happened?

**UnderAgreste:**  
NO IT IS TOO MUCH, LET ME SUM UP

**UnderAgreste:**  
bulb blew. the one Giuseppe didn't have a replacement for. but he thought he did, so time wasted looking before sending someone for another.

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
(Giuseppe?)

**UnderAgreste:**  
(photographer)

**UnderAgreste:**  
not sure if we could have finished before the rain started, bulb or no bulb.

**UnderAgreste:**  
definitely weren't expecting rain. nobody had umbrellas.

**UnderAgreste:**  
then Giuseppe says, it's supposed to be a romantic shoot anyway, _hey look there's lightning_

**UnderAgreste:**  
Noémie says no problem on her end, Lila's over the moon, nobody listens when I say the clothes will get wet

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
(Noémie?)

**UnderAgreste:**  
(makeup artist)

**UnderAgreste:**  
predictably the clothes get wet

**UnderAgreste:**  
trying to evoke that flash-of-lightning falling in love, when I don't even know what that feels like

**UnderAgreste:**  
or what it looks like on anyone else, and Giuseppe said Lila wasn't getting it right either anyway, so I can't even try to follow her lead

**UnderAgreste:**  
over and over and over

**UnderAgreste:**  
_in the cold wet rain_

**UnderAgreste:**  
and then poor Lila slipped in a puddle and got all scraped and muddy

**UnderAgreste:**  
which I feel awful about being glad of because that bad luck was the first good luck all day

**UnderAgreste:**  
because that's why Giuseppe gave up

**UnderAgreste:**  
so we went two hours over with nothing to show for it, and all the clothes need more cleaning before we can try again than if we'd stopped when we were mostly dry, like I said we should

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
wow, yeah, somebody there pissed off Lady Luck

**Marineedles:**  
…appeasement offerings to Fortuna do seem called for

**Marineedles:**  
_@ Rossignolade_ I hope you got a hot drink, a warm blanket, and comfortable pajamas

**Rossignolade:**  
I'm okay. Thank you for your concern.

**Marineedles:**  
texting Aunt Penny to ask if that's legal also seems called for

**UnderAgreste:**  
What?

**UnderAgreste:**  
no no leave your aunt and uncle out of this

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
no she's right, dude, that does seem um

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
suspect

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
labor laws exist for a reason

**Marineedles:**  
and I suddenly understand why you like napping on me so much

**Marineedles:**  
anyway the angel on my shoulder wants a word with the devil on yours and I hear cheesecake is an acceptable bribe for the luck gods

**Marineedles:**  
real pity you can't sneak out and come spend the night

**UnderAgreste:**  
yeah, pity

**Marineedles:**  
I could tell you why you do so know what coup de foudre looks like

**UnderAgreste:**  
*blinks a lot*

**UnderAgreste:**  
okay now you're just trying to style my thunder

**Marineedles:**  
😼

**Rossignolade:**  
You two are sickeningly sweet. Did you know that?

**Marineedles:**  
I'm a pâtissier's daughter and he has a sweet tooth, so I hope so

**C'estLavillant:**  
labor law isn't Maman's area, Adrien, but she agrees this sounds weird enough you should talk to someone whose area it is

**C'estLavillant:**  
Adrien?

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
_@ UnderAgreste_

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
dude if you logged off because Rose's mother agrees with me your father's a dick

**Marineedles:**  
relax, Nino, he's just been kidnapped

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
???!

**Marineedles:**  
he will unfortunately be home before dawn

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
OH

**CouffaineItUp:**  
_@ JustStabCésaire_ ladyblog submission form is glitching on me

**JustStabCésaire:**  
AGAIN??? istg

**JustStabCésaire:**  
pm me!

**CouffaineItUp:**  
ladynoir tag in the rain

**C'estLavillant:**  
oh that sounds so sweet!


	6. Animal Rescue Fundraiser

**JustStabCésaire:**  
okay stream going live in a couple of minutes

**JustStabCésaire:**  
kind of worried Ladybug doesn't seem to have shown up yet

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Chat Noir keeps looking around nervously

**Marineedles:**  
WAIT WHAT DO YOU _MEAN_ IT'S ALMOST TIME

**JustStabCésaire:**  
—you are not usually this enthusiastic about Ladyblog stuff, girl, what's up?

**Marineedles:**  
SJOEWHNGLIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**GoAskAlix:**  
breathe, o fearless leader

**JustStabCésaire:**  
going live!

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
spotted Ladybug!

**UnderAgreste:**  
18h on the dot, like she said

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
Ugh, Adrichou, _must_ you infect everyone?

**UnderAgreste:**  
I have no compunctions about this

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
a good pun is its own reword

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
UGH.

**Haprazard:**  
wait, where's—oh, there's Chat Noir, never mind

**Haprazard:**  
kittens are swarming him

**C'estLavillant:**  
omg so cute!

**CouffaineItUp:**  
look at ladybug's face

**C'estLavillant:**  
oh that one doesn't like competition!

**C'estLavillant:**  
poor little gray cat just lost her Ladybug scritches

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
did that kid just ask Chat Noir how his ears do that?

**C'estLavillant:**  
yes!

**C'estLavillant:**  
_do what_ omg is he really

**C'estLavillant:**  
he _is_

**C'estLavillant:**  
he is pretending he has no idea

**C'estLavillant:**  
and that the tail's hiding when he looks for it

**CouffaineItUp:**  
bet he can't keep a straight face for a whole thirty seconds

**C'estLavillant:**  
look, Ladybug thinks it's so sweet she's recording it for herself

**Marineedles:**  
bet he can keep a straight face until the kids get bored and wander off

**Marineedles:**  
which, if he keeps showing off the ears and tail, will Be A While

**Rossignolade:**  
Don't any of you have anything better to do?

**Marineedles:**  
absolutely not, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen

**Marineedles:**  
and I see Adrien daily

**Rossignolade:**  
hmph.

**CouffaineItUp:**  
what did the little girl in green say?

**C'estLavillant:**  
I think she asked _why_ his ears and tail do that

**GoAskAlix:**  
does he not know?

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
I guess not?

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
oh, he's getting one of the shelter volunteers to talk about cat body language

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
that makes a lot of sense, actually

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
people expect cats to act like dogs for some reason and then decide cats are aloof and uncaring because they don't act like friendly dogs do

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
which is why [the cat and dog here are confusing each other so much](https://alexseanchai.tumblr.com/post/615524937115009024)

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
they do not speak the same body language

**Haprazard:**  
I thought you didn't have pets?

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
hey, cute pet videos are a really good way to get Chris to sit quietly long enough for me to do my homework

**CouffaineItUp:**  
look at the bitty ladybug cosplayer!

**Marineedles:**  
_that's so sweet_

**C'estLavillant:**  
that is not so sweet?

**C'estLavillant:**  
poor kid

**CouffaineItUp:**  
wait ladybug was bullied?

**CouffaineItUp:**  
excuse me IS bullied

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
I do not believe that for a moment.

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!

**Haprazard:**  
Ladybug's brave because her friends believe she's brave?

**Haprazard:**  
that's—actually kind of worrying, guys

**Haprazard:**  
like.

**Haprazard:**  
What if they have a fight?

**Haprazard:**  
Oh no wonder she doesn't want to tell anyone who she is—

**C'estLavillant:**  
oh no

**Haprazard:**  
if the friends who make her feel brave get _targeted_—

**CouffaineItUp:**  
or her family. or theirs.

**Rossignolade:**  
You're overthinking this, all of you.

**Rossignolade:**  
Hawkmoth doesn't work that way, Mylène, and you know it.

**GoAskAlix:**  
says mademoiselle ladybug's-best-friend, having been akumatized how many times now?

**Rossignolade:**  
Why else would he keep targeting our class when the rest of you aren't friends with either of them?

**UnderAgreste:**  
Don't forget the times Lila caused akumas

**UnderAgreste:**  
Kagami still hasn't forgiven her

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
🤣

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
I hope he didn't feel that

**Marineedles:**  
no I think he felt that

**Marineedles:**  
I wonder why it took so long for the cats to notice his tail is a pounce toy

**C'estLavillant:**  
hee hee Marinette you lost the bet

**Marineedles:**  
yes well so did juleka

**Marineedles:**  
anyway he looks better when he's smiling

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
Do you have a _crush_ on _Chat Noir_?

**Rossignolade:**  
I think she _does_.

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
Marinette, if _that's_ your taste in men, _why_ are you with Adrien?

**Rossignolade:**  
Ladybug and Chat Noir deserve each other.

**Rossignolade:**  
And if Marinette likes Chat Noir better than Adrien, she deserves what she gets when Adrien finds out.

**Haprazard:**  
she's not going to break up with him to go chase someone who's happily dating someone else, if that's what you're trying to get at, Lila

**Haprazard:**  
not that Adrien would ever date you anyway, Chloé

**CouffaineItUp:**  
can you not

**C'estLavillant:**  
everyone who's trying to start a fight instead of watch the cute, go away please

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
is that

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
is he

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
okay why does it surprise me that Chat Noir can sing "Thomas O'Malley" at the drop of a pin

**C'estLavillant:**  
it shouldn't, it's exactly his style

**CouffaineItUp:**  
look ladybug found a kitten!

**C'estLavillant:**  
omg look

**CouffaineItUp:**  
…oh, neither of them can…actually take any of the animals home, can they

**C'estLavillant:**  
guess not

**C'estLavillant:**  
guess they're leaving before they're too heartbroken

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
a lot of places don't allow pets.

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
and look at the counters

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
so many people are donating money just because Alya's got the link on this video

**Marineedles:**  
I wish I could adopt a kitty

**CouffaineItUp:**  
yeah they did really good here

**Marineedles:**  
but

**Marineedles:**  
food safety

**Marineedles:**  
and stuff

**GoAskAlix:**  
someday

**Marineedles:**  
—you think?

**Haprazard:**  
Marinette. you already picked out names for when you and Adrien have kids.

**Haprazard:**  
which I _hope_ is at least six years out.

**JustStabCésaire:**  
yeah, girl, just add a couple cat names to the list

**JustStabCésaire:**  
—the donation counter says WHAT

**JustStabCésaire:**  
_@UnderAgreste_ HOW MUCH OF THIS IS YOU

**UnderAgreste:**  
not one cent

**UnderAgreste:**  
Father said there's better causes

**UnderAgreste:**  
and if I spend more than about twenty euro on _anything_, Nathalie will ask about it

**UnderAgreste:**  
but if any of you want to donate through the Ladyblog link and then email me receipts, I can pay you in increments?

**Marineedles:**  
your father said what now

**UnderAgreste:**  
in unrelated news, _@BoutiqueBoutonniere_, _@Rossignolade_, notice me ignoring you

**Marineedles:**  
istlg between you and Thomas O'Malley, he has the better home life

**Marineedles:**  
and I do not mean at the end of the movie

**UnderAgreste:**  
Thomas does not have a home

**Marineedles:**  
that's my point

**Marineedles:**  
next time you come over I'm teaching you how to mix muffins

**Marineedles:**  
there's a cheddar muffin recipe that if I send you home with two dozen I know they'll be gone overnight

**UnderAgreste:**  
—attention got

**UnderAgreste:**  
any excuse to spend time with my cheddar half

**UnderAgreste:**  
wish Father…nm

**Marineedles:**  
love will rind a way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Socchan started it


	7. Post-Interview Analysis

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Okay uh so

**JustStabCésaire:**  
You guys know I had an interview with them today, right?

**C'estLavillant:**  
Oooh how did it go?

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Pretty good but uh

**JustStabCésaire:**  
_@Haprazard_ I think you were right

**JustStabCésaire:**  
LB mentioned some stuff and now I'm extremely worried

**Haprazard:**  
What kind of stuff

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
Is this about that ridiculous bullying thing again

**UnderAgreste:**  
CHLOÉ.

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
What? She's LADYBUG. Who'd bully HER?

**Marineedles:**  
…

**UnderAgreste:**  
Princess

**UnderAgreste:**  
Don't

**JustStabCésaire:**  
It's a little bit about the bullying, yeah

**Haprazard:**  
Oh no

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Look most of this _can't_ go online because Ladybug deserves some privacy

**JustStabCésaire:**  
But

**UnderAgreste:**  
Nice to see you finally figured that out

**Marineedles:**  
ADRIEN!!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Apparently she nearly got akumatized because of one of them?

**UnderAgreste:**  
*innocent whistling*

**UnderAgreste:**  
Wait waht

**UnderAgreste:**  
*what

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
WHAT

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Like more than once

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
WHEN WAS THIS

**JustStabCésaire:**  
She didn't say

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Identity stuff, apparently

**C'estLavillant:**  
We need to do something!

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
I AGREE

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
LADYBUG DESERVES BETTER

**Haprazard:**  
Okay but how

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
We find out who hurt her and then we END them

**Haprazard:**  
Okay but HOW

**Haprazard:**  
Identity stuff, Chloé!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Ugh yeah

**JustStabCésaire:**  
I’ve never felt so helpless in my life

**JustStabCésaire:**  
And I’ve watched Chat Noir die like twelve times

**Marineedles:**  
Alya, please!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
OH SHIT SORRY

**Marineedles:**  
I’ve ASKED you not to talk about that!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
I SWEAR I FORGOT

**C'estLavillant:**  
Mari?

**UnderAgreste:**  
Sorry guys

**UnderAgreste:**  
She saw Chat take a real bad hit once

**UnderAgreste:**  
Been having nightmares ever since

**Haprazard:**  
…let’s change the topic.

**UnderAgreste:**  
Good call.

**Marineedles:**  
Something lighthearted, please.

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Oh! I know just the thing!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
_@Rossignolade_ LB says they ARE dating!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Did she not tell you?

**Rossignolade:**  
What hi

**Rossignolade:**  
Oh right your interview was today! Sorry, been busy all afternoon

**Rossignolade:**  
Yeah they wanted to spill the beans themselves

**Rossignolade:**  
Sorry for the misdirection

**GoAskAlix:**  
Or maybe they just didn't tell YOU, Rossi

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
(And Kubdel enters the chat SWINGING)

**Rossignolade:**  
Of course they did! LB tells me everything

**Marineedles:**  
Except, apparently, her relationship status

**GoAskAlix:**  
BOOM

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Mari!

**BoutiqueBoutonniere:**  
JESUS, CHENG!

**UnderAgreste:**  
Shit did I just miss my Princess brutalizing somebody

**Rossignolade:**  
Adrien, she attacked ME!

**UnderAgreste**:  
oh

**UnderAgreste:**  
So no one important was hurt then


	8. Sensitive Spots

**PRIVATE MESSAGES**

**Alya:**  
Dude

**Alya:**  
What the hell

**Sunshine:**  
Alya?****

**Alya:**  
What is your PROBLEM, Agreste?

**Sunshine:**  
Problem?

**Alya:**  
Look I know Marinette doesn’t like Lila, that ship has sailed****

**Alya:**  
But the way you treated her was completely uncalled for!

**Alya:**  
She’s crying!****

**Alya:**  
I hope you’re satisfied

**Sunshine:**  
Immensely****

**Alya:**  
…

**Alya:**  
Adrien what the hell

**Alya:**  
This isn’t like you****

**Alya:**  
Jesus Christ, is this Félix again?****

**Sunshine:**  
First day of school. Gum incident. It’s me.****

**Alya:**  
Then what the *hell,* man? Lila’s done nothing to you!

**Alya:**  
Why are you being so mean to her!

**Sunshine:**  
…nothing?****

**Sunshine:**  
You think lila’s done nothing to me****

**Alya:**  
Lila Rossi has been nothing but kind to this entire class since she got here****

**Sunshine:**  
ALYA****

**Alya:**  
And you and Mari’s stupid vendetta against her HAS to stop****

**Sunshine:**  
Alya, listen to me

**Sunshine:**  
You are a good friend and I love you

**Sunshine:**  
But if you don’t drop this subject right now, I am going to start saying some things I will regret later****

**Alya:**  
Seriously, what did Lila even DO to you? Either of you?

**Alya:**  
Answer me that****

**Sunshine:**  
…****

**Alya:**  
Come on, man****

**Sunshine:**  
You can’t just take my word for it, can you

**Sunshine:**  
You’re gonna make me relive this?

**Alya:**  
Relive…?

**Alya:**  
Adrien…?

**Alya:**  
Adrien don’t you dare ghost me

**Alya:**  
SUNSHINE PICK UP YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW****

**Sunshine:**  
Hey sorry this is Mari****

**Sunshine:**  
Adrien just crashed through my door basically nonverbal

**Sunshine:**  
Now’s really a bad time. Is this an emergency?

**Alya:**  
Oh no is he okay?****

**Alya:**  
Not an emergency. I may have pushed something too hard****

**Alya:**  
Tell him I’m sorry and I hope he feels better

**Alya:**  
But he and I do still need to talk********

**Sunshine:**  
When he’s ready

**Alya:**  
yeah

**Sunshine:**  
might be a few days****

**Alya:**  
…fine.


	9. Storms in the Dragon King's Garden

**Kimbeau:**  
_@Marineedles_ yooo when should _@Rossignolade_ and me get to your place to work on the lit project

**Marineedles:**  
I thought we were going to the library? if not the school library then one of the public ones?

**Kimbeau:**  
no Lila definitely said you said your room?

**Marineedles:**  
I ABSOLUTELY did not and I don't think I said my living room either

**UnderAgreste:**  
hey seashell, breathe

**Rossignolade:**  
Seashell?

**UnderAgreste:**  
bc Marinette's a pretty little piece of the ocean

**Marineedles:**  
1) I am a riptide

**Marineedles:**  
2)

**Marineedles:**  
anyway not my room, creative frenzy exploded in here, I am tentatively willing to trust Adrien not to break the delicate bits but _nobody else_

**Kimbeau:**  
what was 2?

**UnderAgreste:**  
2) did you know the phrase translated "wine-dark sea" is because Homeric Greek didn't have many words for different hues? the poetic comparison describes the color saturation!

**Marineedles:**  
my schedule says I have nowhere to be after school tomorrow, so library for project then? or your place, _@Kimbeau_, or yours, _@Rossignolade_?

**UnderAgreste:**  
3) of course if I say my lady has wine-dark eyes she's going to come bop me upside the head and I might almost deserve it

**UnderAgreste:**  
4) ???

**UnderAgreste:**  
5) PROFIT!

**Marineedles:**  
we stan one (1) eloquent dork

**C'estLavillant:**  
HEY that's not fair to Chat Noir

**C'estLavillant:**  
unless you stopped liking him or his way with words, because he has not stopped being a dork

**Marineedles:**  
we stan one (1) chaotic bastard cat who only knows euphony from dramatic irony when the topic is puns

**UnderAgreste:**  
please I bet he's a straight-A student

**UnderAgreste:**  
and if poetry isn't his favorite subject that's only because physics and chemistry have so much more potential for big explosions

**UnderAgreste:**  
dramatic irony is that thing you do to unwrinkle costumes, right?

**Marineedles:**  
ADRIEN don't make me laugh

**Marineedles:**  
did I mention DELICATE BITS _this is a disaster_

**UnderAgreste:**  
sorry! how bad is it?

**UnderAgreste:**  
anyway don't you need tears of joy?

**Kimbeau:**  
you definitely said _something_ about delicate bits 😏

**UnderAgreste:**  
*longsuffering sigh*

**Rossignolade:**  
Marinette, maybe it would be better if you kept to projects that won't be easily damaged if you trip over them?

**UnderAgreste:**  
Lila, stop.

**Rossignolade:**  
I'm only trying to help!

**UnderAgreste:**  
she didn't ask, Lila. she _especially_ did not ask _you_.

**UnderAgreste:**  
knock it off.

**JustStabCésaire:**  
—what's going on?

**UnderAgreste:**  
stay out of it, Alya.

**Marineedles:**  
Miss Maladroit strikes again, that's all

**Marineedles:**  
nothing broke, nothing spilled that's going to stain anything, nothing even needs replacing, I think I did more damage to my life's ambitions by tripping on Prince Sincere's shoelaces yesterday

**UnderAgreste:**  
I always knew you'd fall for me someday 😻

**JustStabCésaire:**  
…

**Marineedles:**  
and that wasn't tears of joy, Adrien, that was tears of will I ever get Shīfu Chan's fancy pink salt out of my rug

**JustStabCésaire:**  
…have I missed something??

**Marineedles:**  
(what's your profession? oh, you're a comedian? what's your biggest professional probl—)

**UnderAgreste:**  
I know I know I'm sorry, I will buy you more salt

**Marineedles:**  
I just need to dust stuff off and start over

**UnderAgreste:**  
lmk if you need anything!

**Rossignolade:**  
Gross motor control and a sense of responsibility?

**Marineedles:**  
ExCUSE you

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Lila dial the teasing down a notch or two?

**UnderAgreste:**  
That is not teasing, Alya. That is blatant insults.

**UnderAgreste:**  
And if Lila had said Marinette needs _either_ thing the day Riptide here fell from heaven and knocked me out of the skies, I would _still_ have known Lila was lying her fucking ass off!

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
…you three remind me of Ella, Etta, and Chris. except saying that right now is unfair to Ella, Etta, and Chris.

**UnderAgreste:**  
btw seashell did it hurt?

**Marineedles:**  
I refuse to answer that on the grounds that if a powerful cosmic being appears to one in a nonhuman form, they come bearing responsibility: [see also: prokopetz](https://alexseanchai.tumblr.com/post/190527510285/beatrice-otter-domina-honoribila-prokopetz)

**Marineedles:**  
[also](https://scriptautistic.tumblr.com/post/156241191977/masterpost-sensory-differences) [also](https://scriptautistic.tumblr.com/post/156277280832/masterpost-stimming) [also](https://adhd-alien.tumblr.com/post/186886726759/why-i-didnt-get-diagnosed-until-28-and-was-told) [ALSO](http://adhd-alien.com/2019/07/16/bingo/)

**UnderAgreste:**  
…if kinesthetic and vestibular hyposensitivity are bothering you, I hear parkour is a fantastic stim?

**UnderAgreste:**  
or will that just kick you in the anxiety?

**UnderAgreste:**  
—you're not injured right

**Marineedles:**  
I

**Kimbeau:**  
adrien, adrien, adrien

**Kimbeau:**  
if you just want an excuse to watch her work out on the climbing wall again, you need to be either more _subtle_ or more _direct_

**Rossignolade:**  
it'll stimulate something all right

**MinMaxed:**  
Kim, I would like to watch you work out on the climbing wall again!

**UnderAgreste:**  
LILA.

**JustStabCésaire:**  
ADRIEN.

**Kimbeau:**  
see, adrien, just like max said!

**C'estLavillant:**  
Um some advice please? Ladybug's right near here and she looks like she's really upset and I don't know what to do?

**JustStabCésaire:**  
she's WHAT

**JustStabCésaire:**  
_where_

**C'estLavillant:**  
No.

**C'estLavillant:**  
I might tell Alya? but Ladyblogger, _no_.

**UnderAgreste:**  
Rose, maybe go ask if she wants company? and I bet Chat Noir will be along soon

**Kimbeau:**  
_@Marineedles_ _@Rossignolade_ no really when and where are we working on this project

**Rossignolade:**  
I can do tonight or the day after tomorrow? Or I could ask about rescheduling tomorrow evening's conference call on the pollution initiative, I suppose, or if someone will take notes for me. You're both welcome in my apartment.

**Kimbeau:**  
tonight and Thursday both work for me! Marinette?

**Kimbeau:**  
_@Marineedles_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alix created Kim's handle 😸


	10. Shooting Foxes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: if you've been following this work as we updated it, we just updated the tags and the warnings. Please check those before reading the chapter to make sure you are still okay with the following content.

**JustStabCésaire:**  
_@Rossignolade_ LILA DOLORES ROSSI

**JustStabCésaire:**  
YOU GET INTO THIS GROUP CHAT RIGHT NOW

**JustStabCésaire:**  
DON’T YOU *DARE* IGNORE ME

**Kimbeau:**  
Alya what the heck?

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
Als?

**JustStabCésaire:**  
YOU KNOW I CAN SEE YOU’RE ONLINE

**C’estLavillant:**  
Alya? What’s going on?

**Marineedles:**  
You talked to Adrien

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Yeah

**JustStabCésaire:**  
I talked to Adrien

**C’estLavillant:**  
Alya?

**C’estLavillant:**  
Okay stay calm, don’t wanna get akumatized

**JustStabCésaire:**  
MAYBE I DO

**JustStabCésaire:**  
MAYBE SHE DESERVES IT

**Marineedles:**  
Alya no!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Do you KNOW what she’s been doing to him?

**Marineedles:**  
OF COURSE I DID

**Rossignolade:**  
Alya whatever they’re telling you don’t believe it!

**Marineedles:**  
I’ve known for months! You never listened!

**Rossignolade:**  
They hate me! They’re just trying to make me look bad!

**JustStabCésaire:  
**Wait.

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Everything you said about her at the beginning

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Oh god i’m So sorry

**Rossignolade:**  
I accept your apology

**JustStabCésaire:  
** 😡

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Not you.

**JustStabCésaire:**  
You will never get an apology from me again.

**C’estLavillant:**  
What

**Kimbeau:**  
Dude harsh!

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
Babe!

**Haprazard:**  
Oh no what did i just walk into

**Rossignolade:**  
Alya! I thought we were friends!

**JustStabCésaire:**  
So did I.

**CouffaineItUp:**  
??? Why did rose text me in a blind panic

**BoutiqueBoutonierre:**  
Better question: why did she text ME

**Rossignolade:**  
_@UnderAgreste_ what the hell did you tell her?

**Marineedles:**  
He didn’t. He SHOWED her.****

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Yep. Drone camera.

**Rossignolade is typing...**

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
Oh no.

**JustStabCésaire:  
** 📹

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
What did it show?

**JustStabCésaire:**  
uh

**JustStabCésaire:**  
I’m not sure I should say?

**BoutiqueBoutonierre:**  
Oh no you don’t

**BoutiqueBoutonierre:**  
I just got here and I’m not leaving until the tea has been spilled

**Kimbeau:**  
Seriously what happened?

**Haprazard:  
**Guys if she doesn't think she should say we shouldn't pressure her

**JustStabCésaire:**  
It's not my secret to share

**Rossignolade:**  
Maybe you're just making it up

**Rossignolade:**  
Finally got too jealous of me, huh?

**UnderAgreste:  
**No

**UnderAgreste:**  
I'm not letting you turn this on her

**UnderAgreste:  
**Lila has been touching me in the dressing room

**UnderAgreste:**  
In ways that only _@Marineedles_ is allowed to

**Kimbeau:**  
WHAT

**CouffaineItUp:**  
Oh god

**C’estLavillant:**  
she did what

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
oh Christ. How long?

**Haprazard:**  
…I think i’m going to puke

**Marineedles:**  
Before we were together

**Rossignolade:**  
The footage was doctored****

**Rossignolade:**  
_@UnderAgreste_ how could you do this to me!

**Rossignolade:**  
I’ve done nothing to you!****

**JustStabCésaire:**  
…Nothing?

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Oh man _@UnderAgreste _I get the joke now

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Man that was dark

**Marineedles:**  
Adrien had to mute the chat for a bit

**Marineedles:**  
Please don't @ him

**CouffaineItUp:**  
Honestly not surprised

**BoutiqueBoutonierre:**  
Wait what why

**JustStabCésaire:**  
Of coures YOU wouldn't ge tit

**Rossignolade:**  
Alya! Adrien is lyign!

**Rossignolade:**  
You have to believe me!

**BruelMercy:**  
I don't think she does

**Kimbeau:**  
…

**Kimbeau:**  
Holy crap dude

**LahiffingMyAssOff:**  
Ivan?

**Rossignolade:**  
Ivan?

**Haprazard:**  
Check the scroll, sweetie

**BruelMercy:**  
I did

**BruelMercy:**   
_@Rossignolade?_

**BruelMercy:**  
I don't think you'll want to be in class tomorrow

**Rossignolade:**  
Are you threatening me?

**Rossignolade:**  
Who do you think Damocles is going to believe if you hurt me

**BruelMercy:**  
Who says i'm going to hurt you

**BruelMercy:**  
_@MinMaxed_ you here?

**MinMaxed:**  
Yes, Ivan, I'm here. What's up?

**BruelMercy:**  
Have Markov find her mom's phone number

**BruelMercy:**  
I'm going to make a call.

**Author's Note:**

> [GalahadWilder Tumblr](https://galahadwilder.tumblr.com/); [AlexSeanchai Dreamwidth](https://alexseanchai.dreamwidth.org/); [AlexSeanchai Tumblr](https://alexseanchai.tumblr.com/)


End file.
